wet noodle

noun wet noodles

1. A noodle that is freshly made, before it dries out and becomes rigid.
2. A means of enacting a mild or ineffective symbolic punishment. I think I understand police states and things like that. They are not intimidated by being whipped with a wet noodle, and Jackson-Vanik is a wet noodle.
3. A wimp. I am a wet noodle, she had said sadly to Sister Albertine.
4. Someone or something that is limp, relaxed, or weak. A day in the water in any weather need not turn you into a cold, wet noodle if you suit up in the proper attire.
5. slang A man with erectile dysfunction. "Don't drink too much tonight. You know what happens when you drink too much." She lowered her voice. "You become a wet noodle."
6. slang A flaccid penis. TONO: A wet noodle. That's the explanation I gave to the desk clerk for having to leave in such a hurry. (He laughs.) A wet noodle. (He makes the gesture with a flaccid finger.) Oh, Jesus, and the guy understood.
7. A weak handshake. A good solid handshake tells it all. Beware of the "wet noodle" handshake, which conveys a weak and unsure character, or using both hands, such as the "politician's handshake" or the "glove," using both hands around your hand.